Sick

Yes, you heard me. I'm sick. I woke up with a 101.3 fever and have been laying around the house all day, feeling like shit. I better get better by Sunday, because I am NOT going to be sick for spring break in California. NO WAY IN HELL. I missed 3 finals today, and I have to make them all up the week after break.

Since I didn't have anything to do today, I did a lot of thinking. And most of my thinking was about my HIM. The guy who I have cried over multiple times. The guy who left me in the dust. The guy who blew me off continuously after we parted. The guy who has made me scared of commitment. HIM.

It's amazing how I can't get over him. It's so pathetic in soooo many ways.

Working on english project(:

Wanna Know What I Hate?

I Hate people who think that they're lives are so awful. I hate Minnesota. Everyone here is so fucking dramatic and they never shut the fuck up about other people. For example, I was crying the other day and one of my friends asked me what was wrong and I told her and someone's name came up and what does that turn in to? I was apparently "talking shit" about that person. So that person can go and over react and say I use her shit and say I over react about everything but she was NOT being a good best friend and in my opinion, and in other people's opinion, that is a good reason to be upset.

And about people who think their lives are awful? Suck it up. You don't have it as bad as you think. Just cuz you lost a couple friends doesn't mean your life is 'full of drama.' EVERYONE loses friends. EVERYONE. So suck it up, make some new ones, and move on. Just cuz you lost some people doesn't mean you have to kick the people who were good to you out of your life. You think your life's bad? Why don't you go talk to a kid with AIDS in Africa, or a kid who goes to a labor mill everyday to help feed him and his orphaned siblings in India? Or why don't you talk to my best friend, who has HEART DISEASE and is probably going to be dead by the time she's 17. She has the next TWO YEARS of her life EVERYDAY being reminded that she is going to die before she graduates. Why don't you ask my other friend, who got raped by her boyfriend and then got pregnant with his kid. Wanna know what he did to her when he found out she was pregnant? He punched her in the stomach until she started coughing up blood because he didn't want "any kid of his being mixed with her ugly face." This girl is 14. FOURTEEN. So shut the fuck up, and be grateful for what you've got. All of you. ALL OF YOU. Cuz if you're sitting in posh little Woodbury right now, you're probably a lot better off than most of the world. Let's all make a pact right now that we won't complain about our lives until you are in the hospital, dying. Otherwise there's no need. So stop talking shit about your so-called friends, and be happy for what you've got. Love the people who treat you right and forget about the ones who don't. And right now, I'm starting to forget about someone. Hopefully they're gone soon.

Academy awards , cute guys texting me , sweet tunes in the background , perfect night(: bring out the drinks mum !

Ella's Blog: Dude... I have no idea

Hey guys. This is a post by my  friend, Ellie. She is so right about everything in this post, and I feel the same way as her. So, Hello beautiful, I love you (: I'm sick of not knowing what's going to happen and constantly being on edge. I need someone who actually listens to me and doesn't blow me off constantly. There's only so much I can take before I crack, and my ice is getting thin. Ella's Blog: Dude... I have no idea: "Hello Beautful(: You know, i think everyone needs someone to tell them they are beautiful every single day. And you know what else eve..."

First Post

Last night was winter formal. The theme was Starry Night. I got ready with Ashley and Ellie and wore my gorgeous pink sateen dress. After two attempts to curl my hair failed miserably, I wore my hair straight. That morning I spent almost 40 minutes shaving my legs so they would be completely hairless. I was ready to have the best night so far of freshman year. But did I? No. I spent the majority of the time running between the lounge area and the bathroom. I fixed makeup and hair, wiped tears, gave hugs, and comfort talked for almost all 3 hours of the dance. I had to reject three dance offers, because whenever I was asked, my friend would start crying again. Whenever we made it out on to the dance floor  someone would come up and make the situation worse. It was a train wreck. At the beginning of the dance, I was with my best friend but it didn't seem like she wanted me around that much. I'm not as popular as most of her friends, so why would she pick me over them? Later on I saw her with one of my good friends and two of her friends and I desperately wanted to go and be with her, but her two friends don't like me. This is something I don't understand because I have barely even talked to both girls. Later on in the night I saw my best friend dancing with a guy from another school that she has been in love with for a while now, and I felt so happy for her. I walked over and stood in the relative area so when she was done I could share my excitement with her. But did she come to me first? No. She went to her popular friends. She's a VERY outgoing person and I understand that, but it kind of hurt that she passed me by. On the car ride home, she told me all about the guy. I was so happy for her, but I was sad about the outcome of the night for me. When I started telling her about my night, she called another girl. I felt like I was going to cry. I listened to her story, and she calls another girl when I try to tell her mine? Sometimes I wonder if I'm even loved by some of the people I call my friends. I continuously go out of my way for them and try to make them happy, but whenever I'm down they don't seem to care. I'm still not liking Minnesota, and I can't wait to get out of here.  

My Grandpa was moved into intensive care last weekend. He has had problems with his heart for a while now. We haven't heard anything recently, but I know deep down that he is going to be leaving me soon. I guess God has other plans for him up in heaven, and I know my Grandpa will be happier there.

My friend from Indiana has heart disease and has to come up to the Mayo Clinic here in Minnesota once a year. I had my phone taken away from October to December. When did she come up? November. I didn't get to see my best friend in the whole world because of a grade.

I wonder if my dad's birth mother will ever try and contact him. He has tried to contact her numerous times but she doesn't want to talk to him. See, she didn't tell her family about him, and now she's married with kids and they have no idea she had a child before that life. I find that an extremely selfish move of hers. She's now 66, and she hasn't seen my dad in 50 years. That's an extremely long time. I hope she comes to her senses soon.

I'm supposed to be working on my English book project right now, but it's getting boring. I've been doing it for 2 hours, and it's tiring. I have had so much homework lately, especially with taking extra classes outside of school for German and Spanish. I'm also practicing my flute for about 2 hours for my upcoming competition. I can't wait to go to Australia this upcoming Christmas. I haven't seen my family in 4 years. I'm ecstatic.

My parents are also planning a getaway from this dreadful ice land. It would involve some homeschooling, and I'm excited. More on this later.

Sorry about the depressing post guys. I'm on my time of month, and you know how THAT is.

Kisses darlings.

♥Addie Kaitlin